“What if you’re powerful, even when you’re not creating or expressing? What if your power is never ‘off’—there are simply times when it isn’t visible to the world?”*
As I let these questions sink in, my entire body exhaled—a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
These are the kind of questions that make your shoulders drop and your thoughts stop. The kind that shake up your world to the point where it will never be the same again.
In the span of seconds, I was anchored in and buoyed by a new truth. The puzzle pieces of self-understanding rearranged and clicked into place.
And I felt free.
Throughout my journey as a business owner, I have always vacillated between periods of deep creativity and self-expression, followed by blank nothingness.
I call these my Winters.
They are the dark spots where words don’t come, wisdom runs dry, and all I want to do is turn inwards and tend to my emotional landscape.
Somewhere along the way, I made this cycle wrong and told myself a story about it:
When I am creating and expressing, I am powerful.
When I am underground and integrating, I am powerless.
As a Projector, I’ve noticed that when I am boldly showing up in the world, I receive more invitations, opportunities, and recognition.
When I’m underground, it feels like everything dries up.
The very lifeblood that fuels my energy fades, and I tumble deeper into the dark.
When my winters last longer than I think they should, the feeling of powerlessness not only erodes my sense of agency, but I forget the power of my gifts.
I forget that I AM a gift.
This has been the sacred soul task of my current Venus retrograde journey—the retrieval of this truth and the bone deep embodiment of it.
Even when I’m not creating or expressing, I am powerful.
Even when I’m not creating or expressing, I am a gift.
In fact, the power that lies in Winter is what gives life to my words. Without deep reflection and integration, there would be nothing meaningful to share.
Dropping into this new story is like a warm hug, only to discover that my own arms are around me.
It is here, in this embrace, that I recognize MYSELF.
I see my own reflection, instead of waiting for the world to reflect it back.
I remember who I am:
Adventure.
Love.
Passion.
Radiance.
Sovereignty.
A natural guide and leader.
A space-holder, deep listener, and mirror.
A champion of greatness and self-kindness.
A story teller, rebel, and wisdom-carrier.
This is me.
This is always me.
I’m the one I’ve been waiting for.
And so are you.
If you remember to look in the mirror and see her 🙏🏼
With love & remembering,
-Kayla
If you could use support in cultivating a deeper sense of self-love and personal power, check out my signature coaching program, LIFE BY DESIGN.
*Special thanks to my coach, Leighann Amanda, for asking me these mind-bending questions and inviting me into a new context around how I relate to my power 🤍
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