✈️ Before embarking on each new adventure, my partner and I have a conscious conversation designed to deepen our experience of a trip.
Conscious relating is something we’ve been practicing since we met.
When we first came together as virtual strangers to live as roommates in Mexico, there were a lot of unknowns.
What if our personalities and lifestyles were vastly different?
What if our daily routines clashed?
What if we got on each other’s nerves and there was conflict?
The typical response for me—and, I would assert for many others—is to brush these questions under the rug, let the trip unfold, and then deal [or not deal] with whatever comes up.
Fear of rocking the boat would have made it easy for me to bypass having the hard conversations with my new roommate, but this time I was a stand for something different.
This time, I came from a commitment to be fully expressed.
This time, I asked my partner, Ryan, if he would be willing to relate to each other consciously and use our trip in service of growth.
Thankfully, he was a resounding YES and has been ever since.
✈️ So, what is conscious relating and why combine it with travel?
I see conscious relating as bringing a deeper level of intention and purpose to a relationship. It’s about using each other and the relationship in service of something greater; it’s about fostering GROWTH in the ways you both define.
I also see conscious relating as bringing light to what typically remains in the dark when it comes to how we relate.
Conscious relating is not limited to romantic partnership—it can occur in any kind of relationship where there is mutual agreement to practice.
When we infuse conscious relating with travel, the impact is powerful.
When traveling becomes a shared experience for growth, with both travelers actively engaged in each other’s desired outcomes, they tend to leave the trip feeling empowered and fulfilled.
When travelers are able to see and understand each other clearly, connection gets created on a deeper level.
And when the guess work of relating is eliminated, there is less room for conflict [outward or inward] and more room for ease-filled and magical trip.
✈️ So how do you actually bring conscious relating to travel?
Prior to your trip, set aside time to have a conversation with your travel partner, whether that’s a friend, a family member, a romantic partner, or a random mutual friend you met on the internet 😉
Center the conversation around these seven questions [I recommend answering them on your own first and then discussing them together]:
1.) What’s your vision for the trip?
2.) What do you most want out of the trip?*
3.) What are your expectations for the trip?*
4.) What are your needs during the trip?*
5.) Why did we decide to do this trip TOGETHER?
6.) What growth is this trip in service of [for us individually and // or together]?
*For these particular questions, compare your answers and then form agreements, especially where your answers differ or where there’s potential for conflict.
For example: If one person wants relaxation and the other wants adventure, what will you agree on so as to honor each other’s desires? If one person expects to take private transportation and the other expects to take public, what will you agree on in regards to transportation?
Depending on the length of your trip, you may want to form an agreement to have conscious relating check ins.
A conscious check in is a shorter conversation to check in around your desired outcomes and relationship dynamics. Are you on base or off? Are you relating well or not? If not, what needs to shift or change? Where do you need to realign to your agreements?
The last question can be answered together:
7.) How will we handle disagreement or conflict if // when it comes up?
💟 Answering these questions prior to our adventures has not only enriched Ryan’s and my experience of our trips, they have also strengthened our relationship.
When there’s safety to express yourself fully and completely; when there’s a shared stand for growth, relationships become more transparent, purposeful, and a greater source of fulfillment and joy.
Perhaps the true gift in combining conscious relating with travel is not only a more magical experience, but also the deepening of a relationship with an important person in your life.
Perhaps the truest gift is in relating with more courage and ease across the board.
And who knows?
Depending on who your travel companion is, you may find that one epic adventure turns into one epic love story.
With heart & service,
-Kayla
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