It’s quickly becoming a tradition to pull out my lap top on the flight home from a Rich Litvin Intensive to sift through the weekend.
This year, my reflection will be different.
Putting transformation to words is difficult. This is heart transformation, not head.
Unlike last year, I didn’t go to the Rich Litvin Intensive to be a participant. I went to the Rich Litvin Intensive to be on the leadership team, which is made up of the source team and the coaching team.
As a member of the source team, I volunteered to work behind-the-scenes to ensure that the event ran smoothly, while also offering support to the coaches, who are tasked with leading their own small group of participants throughout the weekend.
As a source team member, I also completed the leadership development program that’s offered to the leadership team.
Before we flew into LA for the intensive, the leadership team was asked to choose a personal breakthrough. What was the edge we wanted to lean into during the weekend? How did we want show up in a new and different way that would facilitate our personal growth and expansion?
💟 The breakthrough that I chose was LIGHT, which meant that throughout the weekend, I made a commitment to show up as ALL of me, even, and especially when, it was uncomfortable. Consciously choosing to exude my light allowed something interesting to happen: For the first time in a long time, I felt what it was like to be me in the presence of others.
I mean, how often do we hear BE YOU?
But how often do we actually feel it?
“Nothing ever becomes real til’ it is experienced.”
John Keats wrote that and he knew what he was talking about.
At the Rich Litvin Intensive this year, I did not bend, shift, or change who I am based on who I was around. I shed the ever-adapting skin of the chameleon to reveal the real me underneath.
I took up space and asked for support.
I noticed when I felt like I was being too much and I noticed again when fear gently tapped me on the shoulder, asking me to shrink back down. I didn’t.
The truth is, people are going to like you or they’re not.
And I think I’ve been afraid of the sadness and disappointment that comes from when they don’t. Much of my chameleon-ness has been a survival strategy to figure out who I need to be in order to be loved and accepted.
This weekend, I was forced to explore new questions: Why can’t I have both? Why can’t I be who I am AND be loved and accepted? I’m worthy of both, right? And if a relationship doesn’t work out, at least I didn’t compromise myself.
While it was uncomfortable at times, showing up as all of me at the Rich Litvin Intensive was surprisingly easy.
If it took me a year to warm up to his community, this year was my year to shine.
And as a result, I discovered a sense of home and belonging that ran deeper than any other home I’ve found before. [Indeed, I get to have BOTH.]
💟 Among other things that transpired at the Rich Litvin Intensive, I was also sharply reminded to trust where I’m being pulled to.
I felt desire I haven’t felt it in a long time.
Desire so smoldering, it nearly burned me up.
💟 I took in feedback on how to carry my physical body as a leader. I stood taller; shoulders back, heart open. I allowed myself to be radiant. I mastered my presence by choosing it consciously. I owned the fact that I AM powerful beyond measure and I AM up to [and will always be up to] big things in the world. Others see it, even when I forget.
💟 I remembered that my gift is being a community enhancer, not necessarily a community builder. I’m reliable to help people feel welcome, safe, connected, and loved.
And yes, all of this from an event that’s focused on “creating clients.”
What I realized is that I didn’t go to the Rich Litvin Intensive for my business this year—I went for myself. And this is the year I will never be the same.
Rich said, “service is the best seat in the house” and there’s so much truth to that. Being of service allowed me to be of service to myself. In a massive way.
And now, as the plane stretches between coast to coast to bring me home, I recall last year when I went into hiding—for months afterwards. I came back so small and constricted.
This time around, I’m making a commitment to opening up; to shining the LIGHT in all of my life.
I’m a little scared that the magic will fade, that the feelings will flee, but c’est la vie. Even when the feelings do flee [because they’re feelings], the magic will always be a part of me.
Once you “know” it, you can access it.
But once you feel it, there’s no going back.
With love & breakthroughs,
-Kayla
P.S. Are you thinking about attending a Rich Litvin Intensive? Check out my insights from the Rich Litvin Intensive last year and feel free to ask any questions you may have in the comments ⬇️
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