As I sit with the accomplishment of receiving my Trauma-Informed Practitioner Certification, I notice tears welling behind my eyes and full-body tingles radiating from my core to my limbs.
I feel proud.
And eager to weave the medicine of somatics and nervous system regulation into my practice.
Throughout my three month long training, I realized that a number of the ways I’ve been taught to coach are directly at odds with trauma-informed care.
It was tough to reconcile, but on the other side, I’ve unlearned and let go of so much.
The old ways are composting into something new—new ways that will seed growth and transformation with exponentially more love and compassion.
If there was anything I took away from the training it was that: Compassion.
Compassion for our humanness.
Acceptance for our humanness.
Loving-kindness for our humanness.
I am so ready to start this new chapter as a Trauma-Informed Coach and even more excited to share my skills with you.
So, what’s changing? And what skills am I implementing? Here are four trauma-informed shifts I am making to the way I coach:
1.) I am largely letting go of survival mechanism work.
While this work can be powerful and eye-opening, it’s easy to see it through the lens of what’s “wrong” with us or what about us needs “fixing.” In this way, it can be subtly shaming. For someone who is already extremely hard on themselves, naming and noticing their survival mechanism just becomes another thing to beat themselves up with or make them feel like they aren’t enough.
I do believe this work has value, however, it’s not right for every client. When used, it must be carried out with love and tact, and only with someone who is highly regulated and has the capacity to be with seeing parts of themselves they may not like.
Instead of focusing on survival mechanism work, I am choosing to educate my clients on their biological stress responses {fawn, flight, fight, freeze}, while helping them to identify when these responses are at play.
Once we realize that our nervous system is just doing what it is biologically designed to do, we realize that there is nothing wrong with us—we are not broken—and we can invite in so much more compassion for our behavior, while lovingly taking on the work to expand our window of tolerance.
2.) I am turning up the volume on essence work.
Since learning about this work and implementing it in my practice, my clients consistently report that this is one of their favorite parts of working together.
In short, essence is the core of who we are. It is the unique light that we shine out into the world without trying to.
To receive our essence is to receive the gift that we are, and I think every human could use more practice with seeing themselves in this way.
During my training, I learned that when it comes to regulating our nervous system, it is unnecessary to take away unhealthy coping strategies {given they aren’t life-threatening}. Rather, the goal is to crowd out the old coping strategies with new, healthy resources.
Why wouldn’t the same principle apply to transformation?
What if, instead of trying to pinpoint and shift what’s “wrong” or “bad” about us, we worked on amplifying what is good, what is working, and how we are a gift to the world?
3.) I am prioritizing the intelligence of the body.
One of the biggest reasons I took Trauma & Somatics was to learn the mechanics of a bottom-up approach to transformation. In the past, much of my work has taken a top-down approach, mainly using the mind.
The thing is, the mind is only one part of the body.
When we bring the whole body into our personal growth journey, transformation has the chance to occur at a much deeper and more sustainable level.
This is because the body holds intelligence.
Every unhealthy coping strategy or behavioral impulse has an expression within the whole body, not just the mind.
When we work with the intelligence of the whole, a couple of things happen:
First, we stop shaming ourselves because we realize that our behavioral impulses {especially the ones we don’t like} are the body’s way of returning to homeostasis.
Second, we can discover important clues and messages from the body that aid in our understanding of a pattern. What we actually need in the moment may be completely different from what we THINK we need.
4.) I am actively tracking my client’s nervous system to ensure that our work together is not pushing them beyond their capacity.
There have been times in the past where clients have experienced a breakdown in our client-coach relationship. Breakdowns don’t happen often, but when they do, I find them extremely challenging and heartbreaking.
I might feel a client get defensive and pull away, or at worst, they want to quit.
After completing my training, I’ve realized why breakdowns occur and what I can do to minimize the chance of them happening.
Breakdowns are signaling that our work together is too much, too fast, too soon for a client’s nervous system. When they are pushed beyond their window of tolerance, our container starts to feel unsafe and their stress response{s} get triggered {fawn, flight, fight, freeze}.
Since every nervous system is unique and shaped by our biology and lived experience, what’s powerful and revelatory for one client {ex. survival mechanism work}, may be extremely triggering and overwhelming for another.
As a Trauma-Informed Practitioner, it is my responsibility to track the expression of my client’s nervous system.
If I notice that a client is becoming activated during a session or around our work together as a whole, this is important feedback that will allow me to meet the client where they’re at and offer trauma-informed care, whether that means adjusting my coaching style in the moment, making changes to our container, or referring them out.
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If you’re a helping professional who is curious about becoming a Trauma-Informed Practitioner, please check out Trauma & Somatics.
If you’re curious about what it’s like to work with me, I’m currently gifting Create The Impossible Coaching Sessions to individuals within my community.
During these sessions, you bring what you want support with, I bring my magic in all its potency, and we have a powerful conversation that moves you forward in a new way ⚡️
To book yours, >>click here.
With love & growth,
-Kayla
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