Over the past couple of years, I’ve gotten really good at being alone—to the point where I could go weeks without talking to anyone outside of my business or immediate life. When I went to the Intensive in April, I realized this was bullshit. I remembered what it felt like to have supportive people around me and I woke up to how hungry I was for more of it. Getting really good at being alone is a really great strategy to deny a desire for connection. When you block something out, you don’t have to feel the hole of not having it. Nor do you have to deal with the...
The Risky Business of Heart Break
I feel the shield you carry. It’s heavy like armor—impenetrable. In many ways, we all wear armor. We wear it around our hearts to keep the hurt out. The longer life breathes us in, the more bruises we collect and sometimes, they stick around. The faint black and blue—a reminder to hitch the shield up higher because you never know what will come of what. People with the heaviest armor tend to have the most tender hearts. To bear all that love to the world—it’s like getting too close to the sun. It will burn all of you up. My own heart has been broken many times over the years,...
To the Ones Who Disappear
We spend an hour together, diving deep into you. You see so much for yourself and I do too. You want so much for yourself and I want it for you too. As we talk, it feels electric. Like our paths were meant to cross. We look at what you want. We look at what’s holding you back. We look at what it would be like and feel like to receive support to get there. You say you think you’re ready and I challenge you. Are you sure? Because “thinking” and “being” are two very different things. We talk at length about how you might block support, in the same...
What Really Happens When You Attend a Rich Litvin Intensive…
It’s quickly becoming a tradition to pull out my lap top on the flight home from a Rich Litvin Intensive to sift through the weekend. This year, my reflection will be different. Putting transformation to words is difficult. This is heart transformation, not head. Unlike last year, I didn’t go to the Rich Litvin Intensive to be a participant. I went to the Rich Litvin Intensive to be on the leadership team, which is made up of the source team and the coaching team. As a member of the source team, I volunteered to work behind-the-scenes to ensure that the event ran smoothly, while also offering support to the coaches,...
I Was Never Aware of How Often I Make Myself Invisible…
Whether that looks like dumbing myself down in conversation or dreading the question: “What do you do?,” it all leads back to hiding. While I knew hiding was going to come up because of the Rich Litvin Intensive, I never realized how often it seeps into my every day life. Bringing this strategy to the surface has been like shining a big ol’ spotlight so when it occurs, I actually SEE IT. Here’s what I’ve been seeing: -I become weird and awkward in conversation, especially if it’s with someone whom I perceive to be further behind on a shared journey. -I feel queasy when sharing my credentials and success {although,...
The Art of Transformation: How to Move Beyond Plateaus & Feeling Stuck
Every week, you bring something different to me, but it always ends up being the same. There comes a point where we dance around the same conversation, over and over again. And while other Coaches would feel like they’ve failed you, I know we’re just getting started. I’m happy to be here with you—to witness you—because when it looks like nothing’s happening, everything is actually happening. More time goes by and even you begin to notice that wherever we start, we always end up at the same place. It’s the road you don’t want to walk down. It’s the door you don’t want to knock on. It’s the place you...
Read This When You’re Shrinking, Hiding, or Drowning in Smallness
Sometimes, you feel so small. And tired. With every passing minute, you shrink a little more. And you wonder: Will I ever rise again? Just last month, you were on top of the world and now you feel like hiding. Actually, when you think about it—this is your predictable pattern. When you zoom out to look at what’s really happening, you see that every time you take a step closer to what you want, every time you reach a milestone {or you don’t}, every time you create something you previously deemed impossible, a switch flips and instead of feeling powerful and mighty, you spiral down into smallness. Your thoughts become...
The Power in Declaring it Quits
Not long ago, you were on top of the world when you declared: THIS! This is it! This is what I want to create next! With excitement fizzing through your veins, you generated a plan. You set goals and deadlines. You determined the actions you needed to take. You even took on some of those actions, riding the high that flows with forward momentum. And then—not ill-meaning on your part—you put the project down because other things required your attention too. And as you focused on those other things {rightfully so}, this beautiful, thrilling idea began to collect dust in the dark corner of your to-do list. The space between...
How to Create What You Want in Half the Time
What if you could create what you want in half the time? What kind of impact would that have on your life? The distinction between the fastest path and the longest path surfaced in my group program this week and I thought I’d share it with you, too. To take the fastest path at any given point on your journey: Identify the CORE OUTCOME you want to achieve vs. what appears to be on the surface. You can arrive at the core outcome by asking yourself: What am I trying to achieve by solving this? For example: Let’s look at time management. What are you trying to achieve by solving...
When Playing by the Rules Won’t Help You Win
Following rules has always been your strong suit. Whether that means following your own rules, others’ rules, or a combination of both. Following rules is safe. You know what’s expected of you, therefore, you know exactly how to avoid messing up. Rules keep your life orderly and neat. The same goes for your goals. You dream up a vision, break it down, and work out a system to create what you want {complete with a thick volume of rules to govern the game and WARNING labels to denote when you’re off track}. As long as you’re playing by the book, you feel good—you feel like you’re making progress. You witness...