Sometimes, you feel so small. And tired.
With every passing minute, you shrink a little more.
And you wonder: Will I ever rise again?
Just last month, you were on top of the world and now you feel like hiding.
Actually, when you think about it—this is your predictable pattern. When you zoom out to look at what’s really happening, you see that every time you take a step closer to what you want, every time you reach a milestone {or you don’t}, every time you create something you previously deemed impossible, a switch flips and instead of feeling powerful and mighty, you spiral down into smallness.
Your thoughts become murky. Your feelings threaten to engulf you.
Like dead weight, you fall into the endless abyss of littleness.
When you’re in it, you’re in it and the only thing you know to do is to put life on hold while you sit and wait it out.
You’re in a cycle of productivity that looks a little something like this:
1.) You set an intention to accomplish something.
2.) You create massive momentum towards it.
3.) The results show up or they don’t.
4.) You experience a rapid decline in energy.
5.) You beat yourself up for being here {hence, feeling small/tired/doubtful/powerless}.
6.) You stop moving forward until your energy returns and once it does, the cycle repeats itself.
If this feels true for you, congratulations! You’ve found the most miserable way to create the pause you crave.
You see—the only thing you fear more than feeling small is pausing. When you’re feeling small, technically you’re still in the game. Pausing/resting/relaxing means you’re out for the count. And if you were to take a breath between the action, you might lose the spark to start again.
So, rather than consciously pause and enjoy it, you’ve found a way to pause by spending a few dark days immersed in feeling exhausted, small, powerless and doubtful about everyone and everything. You’re committed to beating yourself up so that it still feels like you’re doing SOMETHING.
The thing is though, it’s not unnatural to desire a pause after achieving something great or even after your efforts miss the mark. In fact, it’s completely natural {just look at nature}.
What’s getting in your way is that you’re buying into the belief that you can only achieve what you want by being in action and momentum ALL OF THE TIME. Of course, you can’t create what you want without action or momentum, but who says you can’t accomplish what you want while honoring every stage of your cycle?
What if you honored your desire to pause and celebrated your results {or the action you did take if they didn’t show up} by giving yourself a break?
What would be possible if you decided to believe that you could pause, enjoy it, and still achieve your intentions for the new month ahead?
Instead, stages 5 and 6 might look like this:
5.) You gift yourself the gift of downtime.
6.) You commit to restarting the cycle after thoroughly enjoying and reveling in rest <3
With light, love, & a new perspective,
-Kayla
Words & Wisdom
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